It's better to be lucky than good

There is something I say often and I mean it.  "I am lucky".  Dealt cards, play them...Blackjack.  Thrown ball, always caught.  Last pair on the shelf, just my size.  Parent of to two beautifully cool children, check.  You get the picture.  Some say luck is created, or that it is a state of mind.  "Better to be lucky than good," my friend David always says. There is truth in that small proverb.  You can practice, study, create, rehearse, present, and accept, only to have it go all horribly wrong.  Like the beautiful sinewy teen couple pulling up to the woodsy cabin.  Skip the foreplay, and get right to the shadowy large figure in the corner with some form of flesh shredding device, and an ill fitting body fluid stained mask.  Planning, excitement, logistics,and anticipation can all go quickly down the bloody drain.  As the cop throws his cigarette butt to the ground after one last long drag, " They weren't so lucky were they?"  I have been to that woodsy cabin many times, and I plan on returning.  

I believe there is a ridiculous amount of luck involved in parenting.  Forget parenting for a moment,  how we even get to the point of conceiving a child is mind numbing.  How do we know everything works?  We spend the majority of our young adult lives taking every precaution not to have to pee on a stick,  alone in a bathroom, praying that we only see one vertical line in the applicator window.  When you do find someone you want to create a family with, there are so many variables that could go wrong.  Timing, physical make up, genetics, and yes, luck, all help play the role of creator.

I  heard, " they don't give you a handbook on parenting", way to many times to count, when I had my first child.  I would always nod accordingly, or placate  them by saying something like, "that's for sure!"  Well, it's not even close to sure.   That phrase must have been coined around 1475, after Gutenberg figured out how to press metal to paper.   The truth is today, there are thousands of handbooks, blogs, videos, webinars, handouts, pamphlets, websites, films, pod casts, seminars, classes, and cable channels all dedicated to providing us  with information on raising a child.  A library of parenting congress is at our fingertips, and yet we all, at one time or another during our tenure, recognize quietly to ourselves that we have no idea what we are doing.

This is were luck comes in.  I believe that with our intentions, our passion, and our good will,  we furnish the corner office of our own luck.    Someone once told me that luck rubs off.  I hope that they are right, because I make a point to hold my children everyday, even if just for a second, in hopes that mine will.

Swaddle Your Baby!

shop   explore   read  Swaddle Your Baby Swaddling's ability to soothe and calm babies has been known to mothers around the world for countless generations. But while the evidence of its benefits has been clear to women for thousands of years and across every continent, today we can turn to science for proof that swaddling is one of the most gentle, effective, and beneficial practices for mothers and their children.  STEP 1 Lay the swaddle in a diamond shape and fold the top corner down to form a triangle. Place your baby in the center of the folded area with their head just above the fold of the swaddle. Ensure that your baby's shoulders are still below the fold. STEP 2 Place your baby's right arm slightly bent at the elbow flat against their body. Take the left side of the swaddle and bring it across your baby's chest. Ensure their arm is securely under the fabric. Tuck the edge of the swaddle under their body to ensure a secure swaddle. STEP 3 Fold the bottom of the swaddle up & over your baby's feet. Make sure that the blanket is not too tight so that the baby's hips and legs can move. STEP 4 Finally, place your baby's left arm slightly bent at the elbow against their body, take the right side of the swaddle & bring it across your baby's chest. Tuck the excess fabric underneath your baby to secure the swaddle. aden + anais how to swaddle tutorial on Parent TV

I came across this beautifully written piece today from one of my favorite blogs:  Black Hockey Jesus. 

The Fact Of Kids F#&*s With My Head

There’s only so much you can say after awhile about being a parent because what I want to say, what most wants to be said is sealed off by a brick wall of unsayable presence. See. I’m not so much interested in humorous little anecdotes about kid wackiness or the powerful life lessons they teach via their wise childishness. I’m obsessed with something prior to what a good parent is or the things kids do. It’s really hard to talk about. I guess I’m just perpetually shocked by the incomprehensible fact that there was a time when my kids—they were no one—and the way that contrasts with the original fact of their suddenly being these things we call people. Over and over. They just exist exist exist and I’m like what? Who are? How did? And these dumbstruck unformulated questions ultimately dissolve into what I can only assume is love.
Do this. Go in the bathroom and turn off the light. Count to 10 and flick it on. That. That’s what I’m talking about. The way nothing erupts into something. How in the?

Sometimes I see my daughter dancing or skipping rope or drawing a big dinosaur with chalk on the driveway and I become intensely aware that she’s made of bones. I mean, there’s lots of other parts too but beneath it all there’s a bunch of bones that will outlast all our activities and reveries. It occurs to me then that I will die, that she will die too, and everything we ever shared will exist forever as a story scribbled somewhere on the soul of the world. And then I think something like How can such a pretty girl dance upon the tooth of death? and I don’t know what that means, but I write it down and leave it on my desk until it one day finds a partner to dance with in some poem or story.

Presence is differential, spit from and swallowed by absence. No future and past without contrast. The night sky is never the night sky until it’s salty with stars.

I’m coming at this two ways here and both ways are crooked because that’s how paths meander through the woods. I mean, first, there’s the day before my daughter was born and she wasn’t—you know—she just wasn’t. And let’s not get bogged down by the issue of when life begins; of course she was alive the day before she was born but I’m reasonably sure that she hadn’t encountered enough distinctions to erect a very sophisticated consciousness. Now transitioning from inside the womb out into the world? There’s a contrast upon which to begin building some pretty sound notions of this and that. However, if you insist that life begins at conception, that doesn’t negate the straight up weirdness I’m trying to convey. There was a day when my daughter was no one and then she was someone. I remember holding her in my arms in the hospital and viewing her from an oddly different perspective from all my relatives and their (spot on) assessments that she was beautiful. Stunned, I couldn’t even make it to the sophistication of assessing beauty. Someone, I kept thinking. How are you so suddenly someone? Where were you just yesterday? I bet you know secrets. I bet you understand everything more clearly than all the mystics. For you, so newly someone, have just made the longest voyage.

But the second path is harder to grasp because it moves from understanding being and not being in terms of a lifespan to the more subtle seamless and constant birth and death that flows like a river now now now. From this perspective, death is not something that comes at the end of your life. It’s the very stuff from which our lives constantly shine forth. Beneath her, above her, behind her, snaking in between all of my daughter’s little ribs, death is the just then and in a second, between which, against which, from which, my daughter appears, eating an ice cream cone. And that’s what I struggle to comprehend: the mere fact that my daughter is. Surrounded by, engulfed by, and nearly always snuffed out by darkness, she tenaciously illumines the moment with the light of appearance and being. So happy and blissfully unaware that she’s dancing on the tooth of death, she plays with a kitten, brushes her hair, laughs and eats candy. And I, dumbstruck by the way she comes and goes, dissolve into what I can only assume is love

Real Parenting Seminars at Real Baby!

Real Parenting Series at Real Baby!

 

Starting this September, Real Baby,  will be hosting a series of fun, insightful, and educational classes

to help assist you in your journey as a real parent.  Every third Saturday of the month, beginning in September, Real Baby will be will be dropping knowledge on you regarding everything baby!  

Buckling Up Baby!

Join us for the first in our Real Parenting Series on Saturday, September 21st, from 9:00 to 10:00 am, as our friend Selena Silva talks to you about car seat safety and buckling up your baby!  The event is free. and  will be held at our store location at 3616 W. 32nd in Denver. Sign up soon as space is limited!

If you have had questions about car seats, and car seat safety, here is a great opportunity for you to learn from an expert!  Sign up for this free class and receive 10% off the purchase price of any of the car seats Real Baby carries!

Selena Silva is a Certified Child Passenger Safety Technician Instructor and is the only current Safe Travel for All Children Instructor in Colorado.  Her passion is automotive safety.  Selena has 11 years of experience in educating parents and caregivers.  She loves sharing her knowledge about the correct use of child restraints and all aspects of motor vehicle safety.  She works closely with local and state agencies to provide educational outreach throughout the Rocky Mountain region.

 

Selena works to develop protocol and institutional policy as a consultant and technical adviser. She has authored educational training materials for clinical staff  physicians, and emergency responders and everyday families.

There are many ways to sign up for this free and informative class .  Stop in the store or call 303-477-2229.  You can also respond to this email, or connect with us through Facebook.  The size of this free class is limited, so contact us soon!