Wednesday, September 25, 2013

It's better to be lucky than good


There is something I say often and I mean it.  "I am lucky".  Dealt cards, play them...Blackjack.  Thrown ball, always caught.  Last pair on the shelf, just my size.  Parent of to two beautifully cool children, check.  You get the picture.  Some say luck is created, or that it is a state of mind.  "Better to be lucky than good," my friend David always says. There is truth in that small proverb.  You can practice, study, create, rehearse, present, and accept, only to have it go all horribly wrong.  Like the beautiful sinewy teen couple pulling up to the woodsy cabin.  Skip the foreplay, and get right to the shadowy large figure in the corner with some form of flesh shredding device, and an ill fitting body fluid stained mask.  Planning, excitement, logistics,and anticipation can all go quickly down the bloody drain.  As the cop throws his cigarette butt to the ground after one last long drag, " They weren't so lucky were they?"  I have been to that woodsy cabin many times, and I plan on returning.  

I believe there is a ridiculous amount of luck involved in parenting.  Forget parenting for a moment,  how we even get to the point of conceiving a child is mind numbing.  How do we know everything works?  We spend the majority of our young adult lives taking every precaution not to have to pee on a stick,  alone in a bathroom, praying that we only see one vertical line in the applicator window.  When you do find someone you want to create a family with, there are so many variables that could go wrong.  Timing, physical make up, genetics, and yes, luck, all help play the role of creator.

I  heard, " they don't give you a handbook on parenting", way to many times to count, when I had my first child.  I would always nod accordingly, or placate  them by saying something like, "that's for sure!"  Well, it's not even close to sure.   That phrase must have been coined around 1475, after Gutenberg figured out how to press metal to paper.   The truth is today, there are thousands of handbooks, blogs, videos, webinars, handouts, pamphlets, websites, films, pod casts, seminars, classes, and cable channels all dedicated to providing us  with information on raising a child.  A library of parenting congress is at our fingertips, and yet we all, at one time or another during our tenure, recognize quietly to ourselves that we have no idea what we are doing.

This is were luck comes in.  I believe that with our intentions, our passion, and our good will,  we furnish the corner office of our own luck.    Someone once told me that luck rubs off.  I hope that they are right, because I make a point to hold my children everyday, even if just for a second, in hopes that mine will.

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